the tension of a home vacation

One would think that for someone living overseas, a vacation home would be splendid. And don't get me wrong, being home for my sister's wedding the beginning of this month was fantastic. I wouldn't trade it for anything, despite the amount of work we did that was hardly a vacation. :)  (You see, my mother is incredibly creative, crafty, and determined that she could do everything cheaper, if not better, than anything we could buy/hire. And she could give my sister exactly what she wanted. My beloved sister had some beautiful, specific ideas about the wedding, which my gracious mother took on the challenge of bringing to life. In the end it was a beautiful, hand-crafted wedding, with countless hours of hard work and with the help of many along the way!)

But when it came down to it as I left, I realized that vacationing at home required far more emotionally than I was expecting. Though I dearly love all of you, my friends and family in PA, it was overwhelming.

Overwhelming to say hello to so many people in such a short space, because I desperately wanted to catch up, but I also needed my space. Eleven days isn't ideal to reconnect with many. On top of that, I was there specifically for a wedding: to spend time with my sister and my family, and that was priority.

Overwhelming to have a vacation that requires a lot of connecting period. Give me a friend or two or my family for a week, and I'll be content. My ideal vacation is full of peace and a limited number of people with which I need to interact. :)

Overwhelming to answer, or even expect to have to answer, "How's it going?" many times.  To be honest, this is a very difficult question for me to answer (and I'm guessing many who experience life in another culture). How do you summarize life, especially life that's very different from "home", succinctly?  I'm not discounting those of you who ask it - I appreciate the interest! But please know that because the answer usually contains more than standard answers about family and work, it's hard, at least for me, to answer. (And by the way, I will happily answer questions more specific about life - Czech life, language, friends, teaching, etc. The vague, open-ended questions are more challenging.)

Overwhelming to see all of my family and a few close friends and then so soon have to say good-bye. Also overwhelming to have to say good-bye during the wedding festivities, which should be a joyous celebration, but where I ended up in tears multiple times as I recognized that I may not see some of you for another 2 years.

Overwhelming to say good-bye to not only people, but home, where it's safe and comfortable, and head back to Prague, where there are so many unknowns. I had to leave an environment full of support to return to a life that often stretches me and has minimal support on location. Yes, this would be true of any departure, but the brief time and lack of time for true rest made it more challenging.  And though I was looking forward to getting back, setting up my schedule and seeing what God put in place, the leaving was still hard.

Please recognize this is not disregarding any of you. I appreciate your support and care more than you can imagine. And I need it. But I recognize these challenges of  living in a different culture and attempting to vacation at home. It's only temporary and I can't engage "just like normal". Maybe if I had several months, but not for a week. I'm "home" (the place where I grew up and am comfortable) but I'm not HOME (the place where I'm currently doing life). Not to say I won't ever be home again for vacation, but at least now I recognize what it will require and I can prepare myself emotionally for the next time.

And for those of you I did see, thank you! Despite the challenges, it was oh, so good to see you.

Leaving home always means leaving with your feet; never with your heart.