Rootedness

One of my criteria for serving overseas was that I would have team. I tend to need the encouragement and support of people around me, and because of my introverted personality and the time it takes to know others well, it felt safer to be part of a community where I would know those things would exist to some extent. I know myself well enough to be concerned about alone-ness.

But last night I said good-bye to my teammate. Not forever; only for the next 8 months. But suddenly an aspect of concern has become a reality. Not only is Stacy my teammate, it's been great to serve alongside her as a friend from before Prague. So I lose my teammate and closest friend here.

For the rest of the summer, I think it will mostly be ok. I'll be busy enough that we wouldn't have seen much of each other anyway. But beyond that, I'm not sure. Who will be my first contact in case of emergency? With whom can I share what I'm processing deeply?  Who can I pray with about ministry? Who do I text with random questions about where to find things like celery seed? :) Yes, I have people here can fill those roles to some extent, but it won't be the same. In some ways I feel "alone".

And more importantly, I'm asking myself, "Is Jesus enough?" He should be. He has to be. And yet I find myself in moments when I'm not sure - do I truly believe he's my confidence and courage and peace, and I can rely on him -trust him - for everything? That his strength is sufficient?  I've always been a people-pleaser and have relied on those around me for not only approval, but also encouragement. It's a continual process for me to seek God above others, and feels especially relevant in this season.

These verses from Jeremiah have always meant so much to me and encourage me now:

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes.They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 

 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

I long to be that tree by the stream - with roots so deep that nothing shakes it and its steadfastness and fearlessness are displays of God's strength. But I think it's the perseverance in times of heat and trial that drive those roots deep.

So while I will miss Stacy dearly and I still have some trepidation, I'm also anticipating some good things: learning to look toward Jesus for every need and become more rooted there, becoming established in Prague outside of Stacy's presence and connections, and being forced to be vulnerable and express need outside of my comfort zone. I'm believing that this time will not only strengthen my trust in God, but also in the relationships around me in Prague. It may not be the easiest, but it will be good.