August 17 was the 10 year anniversary of my arrival to the Czech Republic. I don't remember the day, but Facebook tells me it was so, so apparently it's true. Supposedly I went shopping at IKEA to buy necessities for my flat (like bed linens and kitchen supplies) and in order to stay awake as long as possible to help with jet leg. And then ate at McDonald's (why, I have no idea. Today McDonald's would be one of my last choices, except when I might want their specific fries :) )
I had no idea what I was doing in this culture. I didn't know a lick of Czech. It took 3 hours to grocery shop because I was google-translating words on food labels to make sure I knew what I was buying. I couldn't picture linen sizes in cm for my single bed and I'm sure I asked my teammate dozens of questions about what I needed to do and how to do it - initial registration with the Czech police, setting up a Czech bank account, getting around Prague, how to find public transport schedules, etc. I hired a guy to help me get my initial one-year visa and after that, my long-term residence permit.
So much has happened since those first weeks and months of this journey...
I've been yelled at for not having a muzzle for Maggie and almost denied entrance to the bus for it.
I've also been mistaken for a Czech and been told that I have no accent.
I've had eyes rolled at me when I don't understand.
I've been treated so kindly by the receptionist at the doctor (who personally escorted me to other offices) when she knows I don't always understand.
I've been shamed when I don't automatically "know" correct procedures, like that this office is only open on Mondays and Wednesdays.
I've also explored trails and areas in Prague that even locals have told me they haven't been to.
I've used informal language for strangers with whom I should speak formally and have spoken to men as if they're female (the problem with gender-specific verbs).
I've been told my personality is more Czech than American.
I've been accused of stealing when I walked into a store with candy in a bag (on a way to a class) and then walked out without buying anything (they made me pay again for the candy I had bought there the week before).
I've been embarrassed.
At times I've failed.
But I've adapted.
I've adjusted.
I've grown.
Today, I can pretty much handle my residence permit on my own (I have to reapply every two years). I've set up a new bank account by myself (that was a proud day, even if it was a process). I understand labels on food products (though still don't understand the difference between some of the soft cheese/milk products that only Europeans or Czechs use). I know my height in cm, my weight in kg and the temperature in C. I love my Czech map app and even recommend it to Americans for finding hiking trails :) (it's super good at showing trails - much better than google) and drive using Czech GPS instructions.
I've experienced significant loss. I've been blessed by significant gain. I've come to love this place as my home. And I still often feel like a foreigner. I carry a fairly constant tension between two dichotomies, and yet in this world it seems we will always carry these side by side:
Grief and Joy
Loss and Gain
Loneliness and Connection
Failure and Success
Naivety and Knowledge
Helplessness and Accomplishment
Anxiety and Confidence
Foreign and Home
I have stories for all of these. You probably do, too. And I realize that every story and even the past 10 years is just part of the pilgrimage I'm on. According to Pete Greig, pilgrimage is a journey into the unknown with God in search of God, and I see it in my story and my experience. Usually a pilgrimage is about a destination or special experience, after which you return to daily life. But since earth is not my home, isn't my life a pilgrimage of its own? Every day is a step into the unknown; another leg of the journey of noticing beauty and how God shows up in the dichotomies of life. And if life is a pilgrimage in search of God, this journey leads to the final destination of eternity with him, where he is ultimately found. In this earthly life I will never experience the fullness of him. But I grow closer through the challenges and goodness of experiences along this life-long pilgrimage until I reach that final destination. And so I hold it all and keep walking and noticing. What is around that next corner?
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