let us encourage...

A little more honest reflection this time...

I'm lonely.

I like to think I'm self-sufficient and independent, and maybe I am to some extent, but that's not always necessarily a good thing. It's because I don't want to ask for help, or be too vulnerable, or it's just too much work to work at relationships. Don't get me wrong, I'm not living in a bubble. I'm meeting with friends and making an effort to get involved in church activities and working at being intentional. But almost everything (if not everything) I do right now requires my intentionality, and after a while, I'm just tired. Friendships in general take a long time for me to develop, and I might say in the Czech Republic, with a language barrier and which is a reserved culture to begin with, it's twice or 3x as hard - at least to develop relationships that truly feel like we're a part of each others' lives. Right now, I don't have any of those with Czech people. I am not fully welcomed in... yet.

So if I present the image that life in Prague is perfect and I don't need you, it's not true. And I apologize. I DO need you. I think we need each other. I can't do this life on my own. Yes, I have fellowship here, but I also need the encouragement from my home - the people who have sent me, known me the longest, or even just share my home culture and language. Yes, your missionaries really do need you! :)

And you need me - to remind you of this corner of the world that needs Jesus. And that you're a part of something bigger than yourselves. And that I'm not the only one who might be lonely - there are people on the other side of the world or across the city or down the road who need a friendly smile or word of encouragement from you. There are those around us who need to be welcomed in - to invade the space of our comfortable, secure worlds.

Such a gesture doesn't necessarily fix everything, but it can make a day. Not only am I blessed by a word of encouragement, I'm blessed by your sharing your lives and realness with me. It's a 2 way street - as much as a reminder for myself to be intentional to give and receive. To give encouragement and open myself to receiving by being real. I want to be honest about life. And I want the blessing of being able to pray for you about life - don't deny me that joy in partnership. To create this relationship, this realness, this BODY OF CHRIST takes intentionality - mine and yours.  For the person at the other end of the pew on Sunday morning.  Or  for the elderly neighbor. Or for the friend on the other side of the ocean. May you be encouraged by the fullness of the body of Christ today.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching.       

- Hebrews 10:24-25 

Fun facts for the foreigner

A friend recently told me that it would be interesting to hear about what makes the Czech Republic and the people unique. There's a ton of history here, as well as a lot of traditional superstition. Here are a few examples. Maybe more will come later as I think of them. :)

• When visiting friends, it's typical to bring a gift such as chocolate or flowers that you can buy fresh all over the place. However, you should always buy an odd number of flowers; even numbers are only used at funerals.

• May 1 is the "Day of Love" when couples go to a specific park in Prague to kiss under the flowering cherry trees (or if not that park, under other blooming trees). The tradition comes from a romantic poem called "Maj" by a Czech poet, and his statue is in this park. Supposedly this keeps the girl beautiful all year.
• From the carp that is eaten at Christmas, keep a scale to put in your wallet for riches throughout the year. My friend gave me one of her scales since she had several. :)

• Czechs celebrate their Name Day as much as their birthday. Typically every Czech name corresponds to a day on the Name Day calendar (so there are a limited number of Czech names - one for each day of the year) and on your Name Day it is typical to receive flowers and gifts. For additional interest, I sort of have 2 Name Days: Jana (the female version of my name) is May 24 and Jan (which is ONLY a man's name in Czech) is June 24. Feel free to celebrate with me! :)

Crafty-ness

I am a horrible decision maker. So the process of making my flat my home was slightly intimidating - there are unlimited options of how to decorate! I'm the type of person who likes to know all my options first, and then go about deciding which one is perfect: cheap, aesthetically pleasing, my style etc. At the same time, sometimes I try to be crafty. So since moving I've been pondering and debating and picking up ideas and supplies here and there (somewhat difficult since there's no such thing as a Michael's here, and I don't know exactly where to get some of the things I need). The past two weekends I've had more free time and was able to complete some projects. Ah, accomplishment! It feels good. But still more to go... the next step is trying to decide if I have pictures that I want to print and frame.

My picture wall! Send me your picture or a family photo and I'll put you on my wall! I love seeing these lovely faces from home.

Albanian non-vacation vacation

Well, I have a lovely view of Albanian mountains out the front windows of the apartment where I'm staying.

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I arrived in Tirana last Saturday to begin 2 1/2 weeks out of the Schengen in order to have days left on my 90 day tourist visa to get me to April when my long-term visa was supposed to be ready. Ironically, I got an email my second day here that my long-term visa is ready - 4 weeks early! So logistically, this trip is pointless. However, I can see God's hand in getting me away from Prague in order to rest and refresh better to start classes again at the end of the month. A few other areas that have already been a blessing:

• The 3 hour van ride from Tirana to Korce is mostly windy roads through mountains. And I tend to get carsick. Before leaving, I looked up natural remedies for motion sickness and therefore at the first hint of a headache on the ride, pulled out ginger root and sucked on it almost the entire ride. Amazingly, I felt fine upon arriving in Korce! 
• Time away from the to-do list at home and spend time studying Czech
• A city small enough that I can walk everywhere. I've enjoyed the sights and exploring part way up the nearby mountain.

WWII memorial

Orthodox cathedral in the center of the town

• A glimpse into the Albania team's lives and enjoying their hospitality. Also, a tour of the milk processing plant started by workers here. Pray for them as you think about it - it's been a very rough couple of years for this team and because of government corruption and cultural attitudes/differences, they have faced so many obstacles along the way. 

Albanian team meal

making butter

Kosti (on the left) is a native Albanian working with the same organization I am. With the team here, he started a milk processing plant to provide quality products (better than you can get here) and a consistent, fair income to the farmers he works with. Pictured with his right-hand man.

• Space to read, worship and connect with God. I haven't had time like this since January (I know, not that long ago, but when you also don't connect with a church service in English, it feels long), but I feel like I need this time to be reminded of who I am as I seek God for areas of freedom. I confess, fear keeps me pretty anxious - of my health getting worse, of looking like an idiot (or a failure) trying to speak Czech, of not living up to what I think others expect of me...  In the words of the song, I'm dwelling in what "I'm no longer a slave of fear; I am a child of God" means. It's a daily battle, but hopefully one day I will be able to recognize the freedom I've gained.

(online) Open House

I finally feel like I'm somewhat settled into my flat. Yes, there are still a few things to do and get (like decorations for the walls!), but what's priority is done. Come see it!

Stretching the flexibility muscle

Ah, flexibility. The #1 requirement of an overseas worker, I think. However, on the structured-to-flexible scale, I fall on the structured side. I know this about myself. I usually like to wake up knowing what my plans are for the day. If there are no set plans, I am usually thinking ahead to what I will accomplish or do with that time: I'll have time for a run, can mail that letter that needs to go out, will make supper and then hopefully study for a bit. When something else comes up, I can go with it, but then I'm immediately rescheduling in my head: Well, I can run tomorrow morning; maybe stop by the post office on my run. And I'll have time when I get home to at least do my homework for tomorrow. And I think there's something in the fridge I can eat along the way. I go with the interruption and normally it's fine. But when I have a lot on my mind, even small disturbances can cause much internal angst.

Living in a foreign country, these disturbances are bound to happen. I'm aware of this, and I feel like for the most part I'm able to adapt and go with the flow. I've seen God's grace in my life overseas in that area. But recently I've had the opportunity (can I even phrase it that way?) to exercise my adaptability, and have had to reflect: Why do they cause so much stress, when in the scheme of things, God has everything under control and will provide for what I need?

Two recent examples:

Last Tuesday I moved into my new flat. It's my teammate, Stacy's, old flat. Because of the time frame, she left her bed until she could get someone to help move it and I could get a new one. We looked at a calendar and determined February 19 the new one should be delivered. But when she talked with friends to move her bed, they could help February 16. Ok, so suddenly I'm without a bed for several days. Sudden angst. But then I remind myself that it's not the end of the world! Yes, you're in transition, but it's a minor detail. I have a sleeping mat and sleeping bag. I have couches and couch cushions. If need be, I can get an air mattress. It's fine. It's an adventure. And it was. Fine, at least. I took the couch cushions to the bedroom (where it stays darker in the morning), laid one duvet on top, covered by a sheet and slept there for 3 nights. Not perfectly, but sufficiently. And now I have a huge bed, for which I don't have the correct size sheets. :)

The other experience: This past weekend, Stacy and I went to Berlin so I could drop off my visa application at the Czech embassy. (For some reason, Americans aren't allowed to apply in the Czech for a long-term visa, so we have to go to an embassy in a neighboring country.) On the bus ride there, we were stopped at the German border and our passports were checked. This was new -  26 countries in Europe are part of the Schengen area, in which you could normally travel without passport checks or immigration control, and I can stay within these countries 90 days on a tourist visa. But because of the refugee crisis in Europe, borders are now doing checks. Which would be fine, except there was a very real possibility that I wouldn't get my long-term visa until my 90 day tourist visa expired. Neither Stacy or I had considered this before. So suddenly my coming weeks had the possibility of looking much different. And I could feel stress rising. How long will I need to leave for? Am I going to miss weeks of school? Where would I go? What am I going to eat? I was kind of looking forward to those 2 weeks to rest and reconnect with Czech friends who I haven't been able to see since school started. At this point (on the bus there) I didn't even know what the situation would be or if I'd need to leave the country. And so I calm my mind: God knows this situation and has it under control. We'll work out the details as they come. You could get to a new country. Accept the fact that your plans could shift and embrace the possibilities that could be. And this could be an adventure. 

And yes, according to the embassy the next day, I wouldn't get my visa until 2 weeks after my 90 days expired. So now the best option is to leave the Schengen during the 2 week break between my Czech courses in March. The days I'm out of the Schengen won't count toward the 90 day tourist visa and I'll have a new entry date into the Schengen on my passport, which should be enough to get to April when I'll (hopefully) get my visa. (On a side note, I'm grateful that the language school wouldn't let me register for the 5 month course since I didn't have a visa. Now I'm taking back-to-back 6 week courses and it gives me a 2 week break in between classes, so I won't miss too much class.)

Long story short, I'll be going to Albania for 2 1/2 weeks in March. We have friends and co-workers there, so I'm looking forward to seeing them. Yes, there's still some stress, but I'm slowing learning how to adapt and trust God with the disruptions that change my plans. And to answer my own question of why these things cause stress ... I fear losing control, or being out of control. It feels safer to know what's coming; it's security. But that also doesn't allow for God to move me beyond my comfort zone into better things. It's about trusting him with the unknowns, and still a learning process.

Settling in

Getting around Prague is a bit surreal. The streets and transportation and sights are all familiar, and it's hard to believe that the last time I rode a tram or metro was a year ago. And yet being here with several very free weeks on my hands and trying to make connections with people almost feels like starting over. But yesterday when I met a friend for lunch at her flat - did the routine walk past the park and sent her a text that I was there so she could come down and let me in her building - and saw her again, we both commented that it seemed like last week.

Some things definitely haven't changed:

      The same native American dressed street musicians by the Andel metro. And different group of an accordion player and stringed instruments.

     The same busyness at the mall and supermarket.

     The same beautiful old building and views (you really should visit! :) )

     The same waiting at tram stops on cold days hoping the tram isn't running too late.


Yes, there are changes:

       New stops on one of the metro lines.

       New buildings in places that used to be fields.

       New trams replacing old ones.

       Friends' children who were babies and so big and running and walking and talking.

And my living situation is new. It's really handy being a lot closer to the center and to friends right now, but it's only temporary and the transition in this has it's own difficulty:

      Not having an address.

      Needing to wash ALL my clothes here because it was stored in a musty basement.

      Having to cook all my own meals for dietary reasons. On a two burner hot plate that doesn't fit 2 pots well together. And wash dishes at a sink that's awkwardly far from the front of the counter. And a fridge that really isn't meant to store much food for any length of time.

     And my feet are cold ALL THE TIME. Even with slippers. It's really annoying.

(disclaimer: not my picture)

The period of transition will ease. I am grateful for much provision in these first days: the tiny potraviny (mini-market) across the street that has eggs on a Friday night, the recall of Czech, which I was a little worried about (not quite where it was, but when reminded, I at least remember it!), the really good turkey chili with sweet potatoes (and no beans!) I made the other night.
 I am grateful for God's consistency and faithfulness. He has given strength in this first week that I was pretty sure I didn't have a week or two ago. He will continue to give strength. He will continue to provide. As 2016 arrived, I was reminded of these verses from Isaiah:

Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

2015 was difficult and I don't want to forget what God has been doing in me, but the struggles themselves... I'm not rehashing that. And I am claiming new and amazing things for 2016! Even in the midst of transition. Already God is making ways where it seems there was none. One example from this week:

I needed an appointment with a gastroenterologist within 10 days of arriving in Prague to get my medication. I tried calling the clinic where I had previously gone, and couldn't get through. I emailed, and received no response. I emailed a different address and finally got a message from the director that they were no longer accepting new patients. What?! I'm not a new patient, and I had told them that. Discouragement! 

Not knowing what else to do, I contacted an English-speaking center that has a good reputation that looked like they had gastroenterology. Hope! Actually, no, they require you to meet with a GP who will then refer you to a gastroenterologist. Frustration! Fortunately, I could get an appointment for the following day, so I went, told the doctor my situation and she asked what insurance I had. Basically self-pay for which I get reimbursed. Oh, well that shouldn't be a problem to get in since clinics have a limited amount of money they can use for patients on Czech insurance. But since I don't have Czech insurance, my old clinic should take me. Hope again! The office coordinator (who schedules these referral appointments), on the other hand, said the clinic had been turning down patients completely. And that most gastroenterologists are scheduled a few weeks out. Hope weakening! But she would make some calls the following day and get back to me.

I went right from this appointment to a Bible study. This particular group I've never attended before. It was a contact from a friend from a former Bible study and they are doing a Beth Moore study I'm interested in, so contacted the girl and went. There were only 2 others there, but both God-appointments, I'm convinced. One is studying Czech at the language school where I'll be going and I was encouraged by her feedback. The other is an eye doctor with connections to the gastro clinic I had been trying to contact. When she found out the situation, she said, "Oh, I'll call them tomorrow and see if I can get an appointment for you." Some hope again! Though slightly skeptical... 

I don't know what miracles she and God worked, but she texted me the following morning saying that she talked with the secretary (the manager's wife) and I should call them and schedule an appointment. Lo and behold, I called, this time the phone was answered, the woman spoke English, knew who I was, and was able to schedule an appointment for Tuesday (the day before I need my medication) after I told her the following week was too late.

Definitely a way through the desert. And I'm counting on the many more to come, even when my eyes can't see them and my mind can't imagine them. Thankfully God does.